Dating Tips for Divorced Men – How to Get Back Out There and Attract Women to You

It’s always tough to get back out in the dating scene of you have been out of the loop for a while and it is perfectly understandable that you might have some reservations when it comes to meeting and attracting women now that you are divorced. For some guys, these reservations are enough to keep them out of the game for quite a while and so, when they do get out there, it becomes harder than it has to be. Are there any tips that might help you when it comes to dating after a divorce?

Here are some helpful hints that might get you back out there and attract women to you:

1. Before you do anything else, get your mind right so you don’t feel self conscious about being a divorced guy.

What I have found is that a lot of guys who are recently divorced and want to get back out there is, they are self conscious about the fact that they are divorced. Well, take a look at the stats sometime. Something like half of marriages end up in divorce, so there really is nothing to hide at all. In fact, some of the women that you are going to meet are going to have a divorce in their past as well, so don’t let that hold you back in the least bit.

2. Get your confidence built back up.

Another things I have noticed is that a lot of guys lose some of that confidence that they used to have around women after getting divorced. Or, they may never have had it, they just happened to have married one of the first women they dated. Whatever your situation might have been, you need to get that confidence built back up, because that is one of the things that really goes a long way when attracting a woman.

3. Take it easy and don’t get caught into jumping into a relationship right away.

This is your time to have some fun, meet some great women, and really see what is out there. Many times, guys will get caught into the feeling of wanting to get right back into a serious relationship and so they end up rushing into something with the first woman they date afterwards. Take your time to really get to know and meet a lot of women before you do that again, so that you end up with the RIGHT one for you.

Want to get more advanced tips on how to attract women so you can get yourself back out there?

Click Here to Get Your FREE Report on How to Approach, Attract, and Date Beautiful Women…

Copyright © 2010 Chris Tyler All Rights Reserved.

Single Muslims Find Alternate Solutions

Being in a relationship for Muslims singles is not as simple as it is for the average youth in the US. Traditionally, Islamic culture and values do not look positively on relationships between men and women who are not married. However, many modern Muslim nowadays have started going beyond these traditional boundaries and start dating to find the perfect match. Muslim matrimonial is not taken lightly in any case and when a Muslim single female decided to start dating, she is careful in her choice as she is focused on dating as a source of finding the right man rather than having fun. single Muslims try to find the most suited life partner as soon as they start going out with each other and the sooner they find the match the better it is for their married life.

Many Muslim parents are now also accepting the fact that the young girls and boys need to interact with each other in order to find a match. Arranged marriages are becoming a thing of the past not only in the US but also in Pakistan. Muslims singles now want to be able to make their own choices and have freedom of making the decision of whom they wish to spend their lives with. Many single and young Muslims have now turned towards online dating as a medium to meet eligible candidates for marriage. When men and women interact online and establish a relationship on the internet, they feel connected and more at ease than with any other form of relationship.

This article was posted by Shafiq Rehman who is managing the Naseeb which is largest Muslim marriage website for Muslims Singles

Learn How to Rekindle Your Marriage and Make It More Romantic – Discover How to Decode What Men Love

Dry spells occur from time to time in every marriage. Though such phases are normal, allowing passion to drift away is one of the most subtle yet biggest reasons for a marriage to disintegrate. However, allowing a relationship to go stale and boring for a long time can be devastating. These situations often lead each spouse to feel rejection, frustration, and eventually emotional distance. Therefore, rekindling romance in the marriage is necessary.

While it’s common for society to think how men should be responsible for perpetuating romance and passion in a relationship, it’s also often necessary for the tables to turn every once in a while. After all, marriage should involve two-way interaction between the spouses. To keep husbands happy and satisfied, it’s essential for wives to know what men love in general and look for ways to give it.

It’s not really hard to figure out what men love because in reality, men and women do look for the same things and that is love, intimacy, and connection. However, men and women employ different ways to satisfy these needs. In this aspect of life, women tend to have it easy as they can easily reconnect with their loved ones and feel loved by means of verbal communication. Men on the other hand may need more than that to reassure themselves. Men are hardwired to seek for passion on a higher level of intimacy. In general, sex is man’s primary method of connecting with their partners.

Women need to be aware and accepting of this fact. They are after all, a married couple. In order to gain back romance and be on the same level of passion and intimacy as with the earlier days of their marriage, both parties need to recognize and accept these varying emotional needs. And instead of criticizing each others needs—or worse, placing your needs ahead of your partner’s—it is always better to compromise.

Apart from this tip, wives can actually do more to please their husbands and rekindle passion in their marriage. In order to know more about what men love, you can visit http://www.cupidsmatch.net.

Dating For Love

First of all, if you think you’re in love with your current partner, make sure that this is not infatuation. And second, you must confirm that both of you have the same feelings for each other. If a girl loves you, she will try some things you may find a little bit corny. However, this is the way they express how they love a guy. If you see her going to great lengths to please you, it means that she really loves you. Another thing that you should note is that the girl will treat you with great respect. A good example is she will always be proud of you as if she’s your mom. She will talk about your positive aspects to her friends all the time. She will not tell anyone the secrets that you tell her nor the things that happen between the both of you. She will introduce you to her family proudly. She will always be there even when you’re down. She will always believe in you, when you lie sometimes. You will feel comfortable every time you are with her. If you want to have a great time together, you won’t need to take a great effort, because having her by your side is great enough.

Girls don’t really think or even say that they are the “Miss Perfect” that you are looking for. But if you think that the girl that you are dating is the one and that feeling never fades in a period of time, then you must do anything to protect your relationship. The point is, if you end up picking the wrong girl that is not for you, it will only cause you heartbreak and throw away years of your happy life. One of the common mistakes of a guy who is searching for the one is setting up the standards to high. If you’re wise enough to use also your brain and not just your heart, then you can find what you are looking for. Who knows, perhaps you are currently dating your true love.

Make sure that you are with your one true love and remember, that it’s is never to late to save your relationship!

Don’t Fret Just Yet – Here’s How You Can Make a Long Distance Relationship Work

People end up in long distance relationships for a variety of reasons. We have all heard of the stories, or maybe even loved through them ourselves. You know exactly how it goes. At first boy meets girl. Then boy quickly falls in love with girl. Just when the relationship is progressing, the boy gets accepted to one school in another part of the country, while the girl has to stay put for her dream job. This sounds all too familiar right? Well if you find yourself in a similar situation, don’t look at your long distance relationship as a romantic death sentence. There are some steps you can definitely take to increase the chances of relationship success, even with the overwhelming distance.

As soon as you make the conscious decision to commit to a long distance relationship, you will need to give yourself something to look forward to. That’s why it’s important that you and your partner look at the calendar and select dates when you can meet up. Even if you can only see each other a few times per year, realize that it is better than nothing at all. Being in a long distance relationship can be incredibly tough, by having specific dates set, it will be easier to make it through the days when you are going through heavy withdrawal symptoms.

After you sit down together and pick out dates, it’s vital that you have a serious conversation about your relationship. Take some time and really be honest with each other. Talk about where you want you want to be a year later. You may even want to set a five year relationship goal. After all, if you are not really in love, and you can’t see yourself being with someone in the long term, then why would you sign up for a long distance relationship in the first place?

Okay, so once all of the discussion is done, you need to find a way to stay in touch once you part ways. Regardless of whether you are in school or you are a young professional, try to have daily contact with your other half. Even if you are in a position where you can’t use the phone for most of the day, you can send messages via instant messenger. Programs such as the modern marvel Skype, takes the invention of the web cam to another level. Not only can you see each other, but you will be able to talk with crisp, clear voice quality.

Even after you stomp out all of the different ways to maintain contact, you have to find a balance of how often you use those resources. Sometimes you may feel like infatuation is leading you to contact professional movers and head back home. But remember the reason why you separated in the fist place and be strong. To some, this point may seem redundant, but even in a long distance relationship you have to learn to give each other space! Just because you are in another country and you miss someone doesn’t mean its okay to send them 50 text messages while they are trying to work.

The final point on our list is arguably the most difficult one. In order to make a long distance relationship work you have to be smart and avoid situations that may lead to infidelity. If you know that you have a girlfriend, then don’t hang out with incredibly attractive girls unless it is part of a group date. Don’t go out on dates. Do not convince yourself that it’s okay if all you do is kiss! Stay clear of all temptation by any means necessary.

MovingCost.com is your ticket to finding trustworthy, professional movers for all of your relocation needs. Each of the moving services that our team of moving companies provides is customized and individually planned to be stress-free.

LGBT Suicide and The Trauma of Growing Up Gay

As a mental health counselor for the past twenty years, I have listened to many painful stories by some of my lesbian and gay patients regarding growing up in a homophobic and heterosexist world. Many of my gay and lesbian patients, including a number of bisexual and transgender individuals, shared with me that as young as age five they felt different. They were unable to articulate why they felt different, and, at the same time, they were too afraid to talk about it. Many reported that they knew this feeling of being different was related to something forbidden. “It felt like keeping a tormenting secret that I could not even understand,” described one of my gay patients. Others shared with me that the feeling of differentness revealed itself in the form of gender nonconformity which could not be kept secret. Therefore, it made them more venerable to homophobic and transgender phobic mistreatment at school and often at home. They had to cope with a daily assault of shame and humiliation without any support.

The experience of carrying a sense of differentness as it related to some of the most taboo and despised images in our culture can leave a traumatic scar on one’s psyche. Most school age children organize his or her school experience around the notion of not coming across as queer. Any school age child’s worst nightmare is being called faggot or dyke which is commonly experienced by many children who do not flow with the mainstream. One gay high school student disclosed to me that on average he hears more than twenty homophobic remarks a day. Schools can feel like concentration camps for LGBT children or any child who gets scapegoat as queer. For the most part, LGBT kids do not get any protection from school officials, and this is a form of child abuse on a collective level. Mistreatment of LGBT youth and a lack of protection are contributing factors to the issue of LGBT teen suicide.

The feeling of differentness as it relates to being gay or lesbian is too complex for any child to process and make sense of especially when coupled with external attacks in the form of homophobic, derogatory name calling. Unlike a black child whose parents are typically also black or a Jewish child with Jewish parents and relatives, the LGBT youth typically does not have gay or lesbian parents or anyone who would mirror his or her experience. In fact many families tend to blame the mistreated LGBT youngster for not being like everyone else and make the child feel like he or she deserves this mistreatment.

When parents are either unable or unwilling to “feel and see” the world through the eyes of their child, and do not provide a reflection to their child that makes the child feel valued that child can not develop a strong sense of self. Facing with isolation, confusion, humiliation, physical violence, not being valued in the eyes of parents, and carrying a secret that the youngster connects with something terrible and unthinkable is too stressful for any child to endure. Especially when there is no empathic other to help him or her to sort it out. The youngster suffers in silence and might use dissociation to cope. In a worst case scenario, he or she could commit suicide.

Many LGBT youth who found the courage to open up about their identity issue have experienced rejection by their families and peers. Many families treat such disclosure as bringing shame on to the family and throw their kid out of the house which forces the kid to join the growing population of homeless kids on the street.

The stress of trying to come to terms with a complex matter such as same sex attraction, family’s rejection as a result of finding out about same sex attraction, and becoming victimized through verbal and physical abuse by peers due to being different are contributing factors to the trauma of growing up gay or lesbian. Such traumatic experience can explain why lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth are up to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers. Suicide attempts by LGBT youth is their desperate attempt to escape this traumatic process of growing up queer.

Those of us who survived the trauma of growing up queer without adequate support and managed to reach adulthood can benefit from making internalized homophobia conscious. When a gay or lesbian youngster experience humiliation every school day for being different and has no one to protect him or her that child can develop internalized homophobia. Internalized homophobia is internalization of shame and hatred that gay and lesbian people were forced to experience. The seed of internalized homophobia is planted from early age, and having a psyche contaminated by the shadow of internalized homophobia can result in low self esteem and other problems later in life. Bisexual and transgender youngsters can also internalize the hatred they had to endure growing up and may develop self hatred.

Not dealing with internalized homophobia is ignoring the wreckage of the past. Psychological injuries that were inflicted on LGBT people as result of growing up in a homophobic and heterosexist world needs to be addressed. Each time a LGBT youngster was insulted or attacked for being different such attack left a scar on his or her soul. Such violent mistreatment caused many to develop feelings of inferiority.

Life after the closet needs to include coming out inside. Becoming aware of repressed or disassociated memories and feelings around homophobic mistreatment of growing up is part of coming out inside. Coming out inside is about approaching unconscious and understanding the development of internalized homophobia. Some painful experiences that contribute to the development of internalized homophobia can get split off and remain in the unconscious. Those split parts can impact how one treats himself or herself in life. Providing empathy and regard for one’s gay inner child who endured years of confusion, shame, fear, and mistreatment due to his or her identity is part of the psychological healing process.

The solution to the demon of internalized homophobia is self-knowledge and self-acceptance. As a community, learning to know ourselves can add vitality to our struggle for freedom. The LGBT liberation movement should not only include fighting for our equal rights, but also working through the injuries that were inflicted on us for growing up queer in a heterosexist world. External changes such as Marriage Equality or the repeal of the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy alone cannot heal us from homophobic mistreatment and rejection we received growing up gay or lesbian. We need to open a new psychological frontier and take our struggle for freedom to a new level. Our civil rights movement is like a bird that needs two wings to fly and not just one. So far, the political wing has been the main carrier of this movement. By adding psychological healing work as the other wing, our bird of liberty can fly higher in the sky.

© This article is copyrighted by Dr. Payam Ghassemlou MFT Ph.D., a psychotherapist in private practice in West Hollywood, California. http://www.DrPayam.com

Dr. Payam Ghassemlou MFT, Ph.D., is licensed in the state of California as a Marriage and Family Therapist with over fifteen years experience. He has a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology along with being a registered addiction specialist.
As a psychotherapist, his areas of expertise include, but are not limited to, interpersonal neurobiology, insecure attachment, mindfulness, dream analysis, substance abuse, couple counseling, managing emotions, pain management, sexual compulsion, coming out, internalized homophobia, self-esteem, midlife crisis, shame, depression, anxiety, HIV/AIDS, dual diagnosis, grief/loss, trauma, immigrant families, work concerns, personal growth, and bi-cultural marriages.
Furthermore, Dr. Ghassemlou has advanced training in contemporary psychoanalysis, Jungian psychology, sandplay therapy, cognitive therapy, mindfulness, and Eastern psychology. He is skilled at goal-oriented, problem focused, and time-efficient therapy. He provides individual therapy and couple counseling. His office is conveniently located on the border of Beverly Hills and West Hollywood.

How Do You Feel Making Friends With Unknown Foreigners?

We should thank profusely the Internet technology, which has opened up the doors (or shall I say Windows – of the Microsoft?) to get friends from countries, thousands of miles away from yours. Let alone making friendships – some 30 or 35years back, you cannot even imagine getting acquainted with a person living in some other continent, except by an airmail letter, specifically written to him or her. And it took ages to get a reply; if at all that person takes the pain of replying, by writing a letter back to you, affixing the postal stamps and posting it in a mail box.

Is it not amazing that today, we just open our system and Internet connection and click the email to write to him/her – or better still chat through typing or direct voice? Surely it is. Thus making friends with somebody, who you did not know ever existed in this world till then, has been made tremendously easy – courtesy: social sites.

Take my personal experience. I am a freelance writer online, writing according to assignments given to me by the clients. I write articles, blogs, web contents, eBook texts, reviews and so on. Apart from writing for money, I am contributing write up stuff on my own to free article publishing sites of fame. I stumble upon new contacts, when they comment on my writings; or when I express myself in various social sites; and after some initial introduction both ways, they become my friends. I have innumerable friends this way from America, Australia and Trinidad to quote a few, apart from my own country – India.

It gives me immense pleasure, when these friends – from both the genders – exchange views on an array of worldly matters, as if you are a close friend living next door. Thinking of it, one thing becomes crystal clear – wherever you live and whatever you do – the human nature is one, irrespective of differences arising out of countries, languages, cast, creed, ethnic background and other barriers – that separate the mankind.

The human feelings are one and the same – joyous when something good is happening; angry when meeting with some unfairness; sympathize when people suffer; and getting sad when losing something or somebody – Oh! The list goes on and on. In such times we tend to forget totally – whether you are an Indian, or American or Australian. The simple truth remains – we are human souls immersing into our own feelings.

It is always intriguing when you come across something interesting from their experience – leave alone the personal life experiences – relating to the environment they are living in. For example, my American friend living in Virginia in U.S. complains she is feeling the heat during summer there, is unbearable; and curses – the temperature is touching 28 degrees Celsius. It looks funny for me – a South Indian – accustomed to temperatures shooting over 40 plus degrees. Still I pity her, knowing well she is living in a place where throughout the year the weather conditions are entirely different from my country. I offer her some soothing words; she feels grateful; which makes the friendship still closer to heart.

At the same time, I wonder with awe how two individual personalities, hailing from totally two different backgrounds, heritages, cultures, environments, food habits, religious faiths and such other things relating to one’s lifestyle, can be united by pure love – (hey don’t jump up to conclusions – both of us are senior citizens) – I mean not the physical passion, but love of the minds here.

While I have high regards on the sophisticated lifestyle of Americans, being a wealthy country topping the world’s economy, she is respecting India for the cultural heritage and traditional values of life. And truly speaking, we have a lot of things between us to cherish; exchange views on; scold; admire; condemn; enjoy; benefit from; search for; explore and arrive at an understanding. This is what a friendship remains for, between two human minds and souls, united by love; and the distance of thousands of miles between us just vanishes into thin air!

I will pour more thoughts gushing in my mind on this in my next and until then bye for now…folks! Meantime I welcome your views and comments also.

Ramaswamy Sundaram is accredited Expert Author at this site; has turned out more than 3600 write ups on various niches and topics as freelance writer online. You can get in touch with him through mail at sulosundar03@gmail.com

Intimacy In Relationships – 5 Tips To Increase Emotional Intimacy In Relationships

There are many factors to intimacy in relationships and when you realise this you will have stronger and more communicative relationship with your partner.

Emotionally intimate

This is when you feel or have the sense that you and your partner are in empathy with each other. You are both able to display your affection for each other and share personal feelings knowing that you are understood and would not be belittled.

This is where your partner is also you best friend, which is a great combination of the emotional and physical intimacy, to have in the ideal relationship. However this doesn’t have to just be with your partner as emotional intimacy is seen with friends, family and even your pet.

Another factor in being intimate in a relationship is that you are able to see life through their eyes. Being able to know what the other person would think in that situation and having that connection to them is a powerful part of intimacy in a relationship

So often people hold themselves back from intimacy in relationships for various reasons and are missing out on the opportunity to deepen that relationship.

These tips will help you to find and address the issues that are holding you back from the intimacy in relationships that you are looking for.

1) Find the problem and overcome it.

Do you know what has been holding you back from being intimate with someone? Why do you keep people at arm’s length? Is it from a bad experience in the past that hurt you?

There are many reasons why you are holding back from intimacy in relationships. What you must do is address them as that is the only way for you to move forward and have real intimacy in relationships in the future.

2) Take things one step at a time.

By addressing the issues causing you to shy away from intimacy in relationships this can allow you to make a conscious effort to change your habits. You may feel that you don’t want to but by taking small steps, like hugging that person when you normally wouldn’t or holding hands with your partner, is a great first start to creating intimacy in relationships.

It may be the case that you only get touchy when having sex. The best thing is to be touchy at other times than when just having sex and this will add to the overall sexual experience and increased physical closeness would become second nature.

3) Do you know the difference between physical and emotional intimacy?

Most women will probably agree that intimacy results in sex and most men would think that sex results in intimacy. This is not a fact but could be true for most as men and women do think differently.

The fact is that physical intimacy in relationships doesn’t necessarily lead to emotional intimacy. We can have sex and still feel disconnected from our partner which makes the physical intimacy in the relationship unsatisfying.

By being both physically and emotionally intimate it is both rewarding and satisfying but remember that one won’t always lead to the other.

4) Don’t Bombard Your Partner With Unnecessary Information.

Sometimes we feel the need to tell people everything about ourselves and this can be a turn off. On the other hand some people hold back any information, which makes them seem cold. The best thing is to give little bits of information as when needed. This is a nice balance and you can provide necessary information if it is required.

Intimacy in relationships is about connecting and sharing with people. Time allows you to become close to someone and being too demanding or too reserved can turn someone away.

5) Forgetting The Past

You may be finding intimacy in relationships difficult because you were hurt in the past and feel that you may be hurt again. This can backfire as you are tarring everyone with the same brush of your past experiences.

Everyone is different and you should give everyone a chance and yourself to be able to have intimacy in relationships. If you have someone in mind that you would like to have intimacy in a relationship with then write down about them and think about what you have written down about how different they are to whoever hurt you in the past. By doing this you will clearly see that this may be the person to have intimacy in a relationship with.

Get more answers about intimacy in relationships and many other relationship issues at http://howtofixabrokenrelationshiptoday.blogspot.com/

Kate Middleton’s Engagement Ring – Why Your Fiance Doesn’t Want One Like It!

Now don’t get me wrong here. Kate Middleton’s engagement ring is stunning and I dare anyone to say otherwise.

For those that are not aware of what it looks like, then do a quick Google search and you will be greeted with numerous pictures of the 18ct sapphire surrounded by 14 exquisite diamonds.

Originally it cost £28,000 and a replica today would cost you in the vicinity of £85,000, but even if you were fortunate enough to be able to afford a replica of Kate Middleton’s engagement ring, it doesn’t mean that you should get one and here’s why.

Kate Middleton’s engagement ring was originally bought in 1981 for Prince William’s mother, the then Lady Diana, by his father Prince Charles. It became one of the most talked about pieces of jewelry in modern history and as their wedding approached expectations of the day became hysterical. The public saw the royal wedding as the completion of a fairytale, the aging, slightly eccentric prince and his beautiful young bride.

But as the years went by and their children, Prince’s William and Harry, grew up it became clear that their fairytale marriage was just that. A fairytale.

In the early 1990′s rumors began to circulate of affairs on both sides; that Prince Charles was actually in love with someone else and that Princess Diana suffered from bulimia, depression and self harm as a result of this and her inability to make Charles love her instead.

In 1992 after the princess bared her soul on global TV they were advised to divorce by the palace and officially separated soon after, with the official divorce coming through in 1997.

Tragically in August 1997 Diana, Princess of Wales was killed in France in a motor vehicle accident. Even today her death is considered by conspiracy theorists to be non-accidental, even making suggestions that the palace and the royal family had a hand in it. It seems that even in death controversy and speculation still surround the princess.

After the death of Diana, the engagement ring was put into a safe where only Prince’s William and Harry could access it.

So we have a beautiful engagement ring that until now has been a symbol of one of the least romantic engagements and heartbreaking marriages in history.

But now Prince William has given it to Kate (or Catherine as she is now known) Middleton and somehow this seems right for them. In Prince Williams own words he gave his mothers ring to Kate because “it’s very special to me, as Kate is very special to me now as well. It was only right the two were put together. It was my way of making sure mother didn’t miss out on today and the excitement and the fact that we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together.”

It also serves as a token of what might have been for the late Princess, and the promise of what should have been a fairytale come true.

The world has been watching Prince William and Kate Middleton since they first met and even the casual observer can see that this relationship has all the makings of one that will stand the test of time.

Kate Middleton’s engagement ring and the history behind it are so unique to their relationship that many now see that Kate and William have a chance to right the wrongs and pain of the previous owners, and fulfill the original promise that the ring held.

Just as your love, relationship and history is unique, your engagement ring should be too. Buy your fiancé a ring that symbolizes how you really feel, I bet that she loves you more for it.

If you want to find out how to easy it is to design your own engagement ring and learn how you can have a stunning ring that she will love then read Mandy’s story at James Allen Reviews

100 Domestic Violence Facts

1. Japan is known for being big on video-games, as a matter of fact they even have a “Domestic Violence Video Game.

2. DV, Spousal Abuse and intimate partner abuse statistics come from only two major sources, Agency Data and Survey Data. The problem with the data is that it is biased because it is too varied, complex and partially unvolunteering.

3 Fact: DV shelters funded by the Federal Government are not required to produce information and do not, information about what they do, how many numbers in or out is unknown, statistics and algorythims are not recorded, this does not help determine if domestic violence is rising or decreasing.

4. Legally and fully married couples report less than 5% of domestic violence calls and are less violent than the more unstable and unbonded relationship.

5. A CDC (center for disease control) survey found that 50 percent of all spousal violence was mutual making Partner aggression two-way.

6. 75% of domestic violence is caused by drug addicts.

7. Pets such as dogs, cats, etc are affected by Domestic Violence just as much as humans.

8. More than 50% of spousal Abusers also abuse their children.

9. Domestic violence occurs in both Religioius and NON Religious families.

10. Spousal Abuse occurs in poor, middle class, rich and in wealthy families although lower income families are more lkely to experience it.

11. It was illegal for a man to hit his wife after 9 P.M. in London ( meaning it was ok before 9 P.M.) reasoning was that women needed time to rest in order to do house chores.

12. Domestic Violence is a disease as it can be transmitted from one generation to the other.

13. Battered women shelters serve more children than they do women.

14. All Abusers do in fact feel guilt and are afraid of being caught.

15. Statistics on Domestic Violence are not precise, never have been and never will be. However, statistics certainly can become more accurate.

16. Women can indeed support themselves if they leave a domestic violence relationship, even if they believe otherwise. There are many programs available for DV victims.

17. When a victim decides to leave and gets caught is when they are in the most danger.

18. Domestic violence is a leading cause of homelessness nationally.

19. 25 % of all violent crimes reported in the UK are domestic violence related.

20. Domestic Violence claims the life of 2 women a week minimum, based on what is reported.

21. Often it is mocked, deemed foolish and comic when a man claims being a victim of domestic violence, however studies show that men lose their life to domestic violence at similiar rates as women do.

22. Certain types of Abusers can be very well liked socially, can seem very nice out of the home debunking any claims the victim may have and making them feel NON-Credible.

23. 63% percent of all murders committed by boys between the ages of 11 thru 20 kill their mother’s Abuser.

24. Every State in the U.S. has a State coalition against domestic violence.

25. Domestic Violence can happen to anyone, even Oprah was once a victim and celebrities are constantly on the map for it.

26. Prevention and Education of DV is not taught in schools, If you know of a school that does have classes please reply here.

27. Police, Correctional, F.B.I, and High Ranking officials can also be Abuser’s of Domestic Violence.

28. Men can be just as afraid of women in intimate partner relationships.

29. Men are less likely to report abuse as victims due to embarrassment, stigmas, credibility and nothing has been done to encourage it.

30. Every 15 seconds a woman is assaulted by a boyfriend her husband or a lover, every 14 seconds the same happens to a man ( FOX 2 NEWS )

31. There are 1500 Shelters for women in the United States and 3500 Animal Shelters, this is true there are more Animal Shelters.

32. Court ordered Domestic Violence courses and classes are not always succesful and DO NOT Guarantee the abuse will stop, However it can and does help.

33. Professionals such as, Doctors, Lawyers, Police Oficers, Ministers, Psychologists also beat their wives.

34. Stopping an Abuser’s Drug and or Alcohol problem will not stop their abusive patterns, they are two seperate entities although drug and alcohol use does make abuse more likely.

35. Many assaults are planned, premeditated and can last for hours.

36. Abuser’s target NON visible part of the body and even when bruises are visible the victim usually manages to cover up the bruise.

37. An abuser will assault a women in the stomach while she is pregnant as it manipulates the woman drastically as she does not want her baby hurt. This is what I call the 2 in 1, abusing 2 people with one stone.

38. Police presence can make a woman even more vulnerable, because once the police is gone and the couple are back together, the victim will have to pay the consequences.

39. Domestic and Family violence kills just as many women every 5 years as the number of Americans killed in the Viet Nam War according to (The Domestic Violence Sourcebook, Berry, 1996)

40. Just 17 states kept data on reported domestic violence offenses in 1991, According to this report: (Senate Judiciary Committee Report, October 1992)

41. Domestic Violence is the leading cause of death of women in the United States of America, According to the US Surgeon General.

42. Among causes of injury to women combined such as muggings, rape, Car Accidents, slips and falls, work related injuries, Battering would be the leader of the pack being the single largest cause of injury to women nationally.

43. 30 % of all Domestic Violence incidents involve weapons.

44. 80% of OHIO prisoners come from homes where domestic violence was an issue, this includes juveniles as well as adults.

45. Domestic Violence is not an anger contol, however the victim may be led to believe so.

46. Children are aware of the DV in their home, even if it is hidden.

47. It is a crime and it is against the law to harass or physically harm another human being.

48. The U.S economy suffers a loss of up to $100 Million Dollars a year in Medical Expenses and between $3 and $5 Billion Dollars in missing work or sick days annually.

49. 22% percent of all Divorces in middle-class relationshiops are due to violence (EAP Digest November/December 1991)

50. Family Violence or Spousal Abuse is a secretive crime and can be a very well kept secret for years if not permanently.

51. Pregnant women that are battered are more likely to have babies with defects,low birth weights and even miscarriages.

52. Babysitters, Housekeepers, Gardeners, Caregivers, Guardians, Godparents, Butlers, and or sleepover friends are not exempt from domestic violence, no one is.

53. local law enforcements are not required or mandated to maintain data on the relationship between victim and offender except in the case of murder.

54. Until 1984 advising the Male partner to “take a walk around the block” was usually as much as police could legally do when responding to a domestic violence call.

55. It was in 1984 that the United States Attorney General suggest that automatic arrest become standard when responding to a domestic violence call.

56. Non Cooperation of the victim during abuser prosecution is too often the cause for dismissal of abuse cases, however some states no longer require the victim to follow thru and now continue prosecution when enough evidence allows. This is know as the no-drop policy.

57. Abusers may use legal and or illegal drugs to spike a victim’s food or drink in order to further manipulate them and make them more vulnerable.

58. There are actually countries that do not have a domestic abuse law or crime bracket, for example in scotland there is no crime known as Domestic Abuse.

59. Insurance companies treat Domestic Violence as a pre-existing condition. Meaning if you’re husband beats you either you can be turned down for insurance or you may have to pay a much higher insuranace premium.

60. Domestic Violence can be that of a slavery setting, where the victim works and the abuser reaps the benefits and controls every aspect of the victim’s lifestyle.

61. In any given Domestic Abuse Case 95% of the times The male partner is arrested.

62. Domestic violence is an underreported crime Only approximately 25 percent of all physical assaults, and 50 percent of all stalkings perpetuated against females by intimate partners are reported.

63. Over one Million of Domestic Violence allegations are false.

64. In 7 out of 10 cases women were the aggressors of an Abuser/Abusee relationship where there male parnter did not re-act physically According to a national survey on partner aggression Published by the Centers for Disease Control in May 2007.

65. Men and women commit domestic violence at similar rates according to Professor Linda Kelly of The Indiana State University School of Law.

66. Women who experience domestic violence first hand are more likely to get sick in their latter years, sick as in suffereing from asthma, getting a stroke, 70% chance of having heart disease and a chance of turning to substance abouse or heavy drinking.

67. Domestic and sexual violence are known to involve the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases such as H.I.V. etc

68. The majority of women who have been victims of spousal abuse become less negotiating about practicing safe sex or using protection with future partners.

69. Many Abuser’s have no criminal history or crime record and can seem harmless, kind and family oriented.

70. Undocumented immigrant victims are somehow more vulnerable to abuse, because of their partner’s documented legal status, making them less likely to seek help due to deportation threats made by their abusers.

71. Women use violence to resolve conflict in intimate relationships just as often as men according to a well-publicized study conducted by Dr. Murray Strauss of the University of New Hampshire.

72. Abuser’s with Legal U.S. Citizenship many times deter their victims from gaining U.S. Citizenship/legal status to keep them isolated.

73. A host of different women from hispanic backgrounds such as Mexico and Columbia are lead to believe that Domestic Violence is acceptable because of their Macho like cultures.

74. Undocumented Immigrants often do not trust the American Legal system when it comes to domestic abuse because of their fear of deportation, also the reason why they will stay in such relationships longer.

75. Men are less likely to view partner aggression towards them as a crime, another reason why men don’t come forward.

76. A high number of women become victims due to them first initializing an assault towards their husband or partner.

77. Women are more likely to report abuse then men are as victims.

78. Domestic Violence does not appear on the U.S. Department Of Health and Human Services list of leading causes of injury. However, accidental slips and falls, over exertion and car accidents are.

79. The cost of domestic violence towards men us “UNKNOWN” however the cost of domestic violence towards women is $5.8 Billion according to the center for disease control but supposedly $13 Billion from other sources.

80. Automatic mandatory arrest laws escalate, not reduce, the risk of successful partner violence, because when abusers are let loose ther are known to retaliate.

81. The claimed fact that women lose $8 Million days of paid work is actually reversed, this is the total amount of lost days in monies Men lose each year not women, do the math.

82. 71% of kids killed by a parent were killed by their mothers, according to Data from the Department of Health and Human Services.

83. Domestic violence facts and statistics are amongst the most misleading, mythical, railroaded, un-informative and farse facts and statistics ever. Much trickory and deception is used in the numbers brought forward.

84. BWS or Battered Women’s Syndrome firt came about in the 1970′s. This alleged syndrome helped and cushioned women who murdered their husbands, boyfriends, or lovers. It was also used to justify why they killed their partners.

85. Major Holidays aren’t any better for victims than they are for Abusers, ThanksGiving and Christmas raises tention and stress in domestic abuse relationtips due to the victims yearning want to see his or her family and the abuser just not allowing it.

86. Abusers tend to deplete their victim’s bank accounts and destroy their cedit to make them less versatile and more dependant on their abusers.

87. A staggering number of victims do not know what domestic abuse is, nor do they know that they are living it. Even when they have a sense that something’s wrong, they do not see the abuse coming as it stems and grows, it is why they say love is blind.

88. Spousal and Domestic Abuse rates are not their highest on Super Bowl Sunday than any other single day of the year. Not all men are into football, as a matter of fact men usually are not with their female partners on that day.

89. The reason or reasons why victims stay in such relationships is or are limited financial funds to get out and move, fear of making the abuse worst if caught leaving, and immunity to the abuse, there is an old saying “we like what we know, but we are afraid of what we don’t know”

90. A century 100 Years Ago it was legal for the husband to beat his wife in the UK given that he only used a stick no thick in width than his thumb.

91. Domestic Violence occours in absolutely all races and ethnic groups to any gender regardless of age.

92. If battering and abuse is not decreasing, its increasing and tends to develop over time.

93. Abusive women have used domestic violence as a tool to arrest and intimidate their male partners by making false claims that her husband assaulted her. With the new domestic abuse laws of mandatory arrest on a domestic abuse call this is an easy one for women to pull. ( Ladies don’t get any ideas, if you’re husband treats you well, be nice to him )

94. A study on dating couples determined that 70 percent of all physical abuse was inflicted by both partiess.

95. Blind, deaf, handicapped and mentally retarded persons are also subject to abuse one way or another.

96. Military domestic violence statistics show that the army had the higher incidents of all the services Marines, Navy, and AirForce following in order.

97. Technology has played a major role in domestic abuse recently. For example Abusers use Email, tracking devices, cell phones etc, to monitor their victims where abouts. Victimized Men have also incorporated the use of technology in the form of surveilance to record and prove that their spouse was indeed abusing them.

98. Written policies, standards, protocols are a must by all law enforcement when responding to any domestic disputes.

99. A victim does not have the option to choose whether they can press charges or drop the charges once an arrest is made. The state takes over the case and follows prosecution.

100. A protective order, Order of protection, stay away order, restraining order, emergency protective restraining order whether temporary or permanent does not guarantee solid protection for a victim, especially since victims tend to allow the abuser to contact them after an arrest or the abuser may stalk the victim. However an automatic mandatory arrest is made if authorities are made aware that the perpetrator has violated such court order.

Beth Ross is a moderator at http://www.domestic-violence-online-center.com/ voluntarily helps with the forum and contributes content for the site. Having gone thru domestic abuse in her past beth now passes on what she knows on her free time.